Possible Oscar

Never Gonna Beat This Boss

A parody of “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

I’ve been playing too long
Just beat this level, then off to bed
The sun is rising at the crack of dawn
I need a save point before my session ends
Holy crap this boss looks like a mountain
There’s no weakness I can see

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Unleash my weapon on full charge
He moans and cowers
But doesn’t lose his power
Perhaps I need to strike from higher ground
Feel like I’ve fought this beast for an hour
Just as I sight his flashing weak-point
He turns and runs the other way

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find find the pattern to fight him
Never gonna frag his brain
Never gonna use grenades
Never gonna find a way to smite him

(Ooo… beat this boss)
(Ooo… win this game)

Never gonna beat, never gonna beat
(Beat this boss)

Never gonna win, never gonna win
(Win this game)

I think I’ve got it figured out
If he can see me
He’ll stop and fire his green beam
And at that moment I can run around
Attack his knees and his fleshy inseam
Time to make my move and slay this creature
[death sfx] Didn’t see that laser mine

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find find the pattern to fight him
Never gonna frag his brain
Never gonna use grenades
Never gonna find a way to smite him