Possible Oscar

If I Had a Rocket Launcher

A parody of “If I Had $1000000” by Barenaked Ladies

By Possible Oscar and Insane Ian

If I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d pwn me some n00bs (I would pwn me some n00bs)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
I’d pwn n00bs universally in games (Not just in Halo or in Call of Duty)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d beat all of my games (And probably some of your games as well)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I’d win at Pong

If I had a Rocket Launcher (I wouldn’t have to cheat anymore)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (Rocket fire would really even the score)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (Maybe I could use a rocket to finally win at Tetris someday)

You know, why do you have to always wait for that one long bar to eliminate four lines and get a tetris?  Why can’t you just eliminate everything on the screen with a well placed missile?
Yeah, and since it’s a Russian game, you can say something clever like…”Dosvidanya, komrade.”

If I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d clear traffic in Frogger (But not clear real traffic, that’s cruel)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d exterminate in Centipede (Yep, sauté mushrooms or that spider)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d win in John Madden’s games (Ooh, put some heat on my shotgun pass)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I’d fry Q*bert!

If I had a rocket launcher (defeating Pokémon isn’t hard)
If I had a rocket launcher (Got me a heat seeking Charizard)
If I had a rocket launcher (I wouldn’t have to use that blue shell)

But we’d still use the blue shell.
Of course we would.
But we’d use the blue shell to deflect the missiles.
Uh huh.
Or use the missiles to deflect the blue shell.
I just hate how when you’re in first place and you launch it you knock yourself out if first place.

If I had a rocket launcher (Instead of a fire flower)
Well, I’d fry me a goomba (but not a real goomba, that’s cruel)
And if I had a rocket launcher (or the Triforce of Power)
Well, I’d rescue the princess (Peach, Zelda or Pauline)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I’d take out an ape named Donkey (Haven’t you always hated that monkey?)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I’d beat Bowser!

If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
You’d be dead