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Dead Nintendo

A parody of “Desperado” by The Eagles

Dead Nintendo, why won’t you work like you ought to
There’s one reason I bought you, for Mario Bros.
Oh, your design flaw is that spring-loaded compartment
I blew on the cartridge but the game still won’t load

There’s no saving Princess Zelda, now
She’s captured by King Ganon
You know the Triforce won’t be found if you don’t start

I can fight the mighty Metroids
Samus’ right hand is a cannon
But that power goes to waste if my screen’s dark

Dead Nintendo, oh Castlevania’s waiting
I’m hoping and praying, this kit does the trick
And Punch Out, oh Punch Out, well I can’t wait to be champion
I’ll challenge Mike Tyson just as soon as you’re fixed

If I find at times that I can’t survive
The secret code gives me 30 lives
It’s hard to save the world without your help
Your flashing light demands reboot
Do you think those ducks are going to shoot themselves?

Dead Nintendo, why do you choose to forsake me
You’re this close to making me throw you away
I’m fairly angry, so there’s just one thing you can do
You better let somebody play you (Let somebody play you)
You better let somebody play you, before it’s trash day