Possible Oscar

All Out of Beer [acoustic version]

A parody of “All Out of Love” by Air Supply

BUD: Can I have everyone’s attention please? Thank you all for coming out to our Possible Oscar House Party Fun Time Blow Out Jamboree and Tupperware Party!

(applause/hoots)

It’s been a wonderful evening. However, I have a confession to make. This isn’t going to be easy for me to say.

I think, by saying it through the soft terry cloth sounds of A.M. gold, it should lessen the shock.

Marshall, If you would please…

It’s 8:53 on a Saturday night
Drinking a few with our friends
Meatballs were a hit, hope you liked the Chex mix
The Tupperware kept them fresh

There’s only one thing that could ruin the mood
And temper the mirth of this day
The amount that we bought, wasn’t nearly enough
In the end what I’m trying to say, what I’m trying to say

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

It seems that a few of you shoulder the blame
Consumed more than most of the room
I’m talking to you, Steve, you drank 42
I expect that you’ll drop dead soon

STEVE (drunkenly): Pffft! I don’t even (body falling sound)

Now, Larry, I find your behavior uncouth
It’s time to pull up your jeans
And, Susan, it’s clear you can’t handle your beer
So much for your dignity, dignity

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

Ooh, who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?

GUY ONE: You! You tard! This is YOUR party!

GUY TWO: Yeah! And make it quick! Buzz… fading…

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
So pack up your shit, you ungrateful assholes
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
We told you to leave, now get the hell out of our home

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
We told you to leave…

(no sound except one man’s applause)

BUD: That didn’t go very well.

MARSHALL: It’s O.K. I’m here for ya, Bud.

BUD: Thanks man. By the way, we’re out of wine too.

MARSHALL: Yeah… Um, well, good luck with that, and… Oh gee, look at the time!

(guitar thud sound)

BUD: Wait! Uurgh!