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Filler

A parody of “Thriller” by Michael Jackson

It’s Wednesday evening
The votes are in, the journey ends for one
Seacrest is scheming
He seems to draw the process out for fun
By ones or twos
The singers will discover if they made it
Let’s start with you
We’ll find out if you’re bottom three or safe
After this break

There’s too much filler
Filler now
How many times can Seacrest
Pick a fight with Simon Cowell
You know it’s filler
Filler now
Great, Paula’s babbling on
Will someone kill her
Filler tonight

It’s 60 minutes
But only three of those are worth the time
The rest is filled up
With content guaranteed to numb your mind
Recap last night
The day before is so hard to remember
Pre-packaged sights
What inane crap has occupied their week?
We fell asleep

There’s too much filler
Filler now
Make sure you plug the film
Cause Fox is hoping for a crowd, yeah
Filler
Filler now
Great, Paula’s babbling now
Will someone kill her
Filler tonight

Everyone sing
The big medley’s a trainwreck from start to end
And don’t forget there’s a group video still in store
(Sponsored by Ford)
We’re irreversibly bored

We’re near the end now
It’s time to make the loser hit the bricks
Read the results now
I’m getting rather sick and tired of this
A sad farewell
I swear I shouldn’t watch this as it happens
Note to myself
To TiVo this and skip right through the fluff
I’ve seen enough

There’s too much filler
Filler now
Now Paula seems confused
Simon and Randy look astounded
Filler
Filler now
She’s really said enough
Please someone
Kill her, will ya, pill her
Filler here tonight

Cause this is filler
Filler now
Please someone cut her mic
So we don’t have to hear her make sound
Filler
Filler now
No really, shut her up
Please someone
KIll her, filler

There’s too much filler tonight

Thousands tried to make the show
But there could be just twenty-four
Of that lot just twelve would stay
To sing upon our brand-new stage
And then some wise exec opined
Let’s show results for twice the time
No doubt the viewers would be pleased
To watch us for two hours a week

And should two hours not suffice
We’ll program Idol every night
You’ll watch them sleep and eat their food
With cameras strapped to forks and spoons
Although the ratings have dropped off
We’re still a ratings winner
So while it’s meant to show more ads
We know you’ll watch the filler